Homecooked dinner, movie night, and jail (wut wut whaaaat?)
Posted by Karen Falcon | Posted in other | Posted on 6:34 PM
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It's been a day since my breakfast (date?) with my new guy, rather, hopefully my new guy. Little miss sweety-pie-cowerker 'E' and I had a little tette-a-tette whether this qualified as a 'date' anyway. I don't care what anyone calls it, we had a great time and we are planning more time together. Tomorrow he'll swing by after work. I plan to ask him to stay for dinner.
Roast Chicken, masheds, asparagus, salad, chardonnay, and movie night.
Yay me - there's more!
Saturday night at work, the last couple hours on the clock I psyched myself into a terrible case of nausea. I couldn't stop over-analyzing my big breakfast day about to come up in a few hours. I kept the over-analyzing to myself for the most part, but did mention to the 2 coworkers I was with that night that I felt sick to my stomach, I hadn't been out on a date in over 2 years, maybe closer to 3.
Saturday evening at home, I buzzed around the house straightening up so he could come in to meet my daughter before we head out. He showed up 1/2hr EARLY! I had JUST gotten out of the shower, in fact, had just got my parrot out of the shower with me and was in the living room putting Romeo the parrot back in his cage, standing there in a TOWEL when he pulled up, out front, right out that big front window I was in, he pulled up on his harley.
I quickly dodged back to the bathroom and yelled at my daughter to let him in and let him know I just got out of the shower. CRRRRRAAAAAAAPP!
Once in the bathroom, I realized I was going to dart out to the front laundry room, which is in my front door entryway, to grab my clothes out of the dryer. CHIT - there's no time to run out there and grab my clothes before he makes his way to the door. I would be standing there in a towel, no make up and half naked to grab my clothes. And, I haven't done an ass check in a while because I have no full length mirror, but I don't even know how low my ass has grown, if it would be smiling out from behind that towel. Doubt it, but makes for funny imagery. Note to self, buy full length mirror tomorrow while out shopping for dinner/movie night!
WTF am I going to do now? How am I going to get my clothes out of the dryer? If I send my kiddo to grab the load of clothes, she won't just grab what I need, she'll grab the whole stinkin load and drop a string of unmentionables along the way back to me all strewn out in front of him sitting on the couch.
That was how fast and irrational my mind was spinning since he showed up early.
Plan B, I dig out FROM THE DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER in the bathroom, something to throw on to go get my clothes out of the dryer. Sheesh. I looked like hell. My hair was still all wet and dragging me down, I had no makeup on, and now I have dirty clothes on AND DIRTY SOX to cover up my non-pedicured tootsies. I don't have bear claw feet, but why expose him to chippy toes and why bother prettyin' them up when I know they'll be smothered all day in boots for the ride on the harley.
I check myself in the bathroom mirror and decide to take it as an opportunity to show him the real me anyway. I'm going to head out there in these dirty clothes and my faceyface au natural!
I greet him, thank him for waiting and let him know I just have to grab my clothes out of the dryer and then I'll be just a bit longer. Boring, all these details, eh?
Maybe the more I blog about it here, it will keep me from stewing on every detail about him so much and help prevent me from f'ing up a good thing...
Anyway, got dressed, blow dried my hair real quick, but it's not real quick with me because I have very long, thick Portuguese hair. So, I dried it a bit and realized I'm just going to have to put a helmet on anyway for the ride, so I left much of the back and ends wet and headed out with my face painted. Since he met me in the deli, that was the first time he had seen my long hair in all it's glory, besides the extremely wet wet, just out of the shower, run to the dryer incident.
I caught him checking out my hair, and I figured, being a harley guy, he'd like that. My hair is all down the full length of my back and is naturally curly, but with the weight and length, it pulls it all out to long wavy locks - I'm happy with my hair feature, not so happy with other features, as are we all!
On to the good stuff.
We head out and I ask him if we can stop at the barn first to let the horse out to pasture. Sure, I could have got up earlier and done that, but I wanted him to meet our other pet, Foxxy and he seemed to enjoy that. He used to have a mare too. We didn't talk about the horses much, but it was just date 1.
As we rode and got to a slower part of the road so it was a bit quieter, I leaned in to ask him where we are going to breakfast and when he told me, up the coast and where the plans were, I was really surprised, in a great way. Just so happens to be one of my all time favorite restaurants, The Sea Hag in Depoe Bay. I didn't even know they serve breakfast, my daughter and I have enjoyed many great dinners there, so I was happy to be heading there for breakfast with my new guy.
It was very nice. He hardly ate and was just picking at his food. As I was scarfing on my corned beef hash and eggs and english muffin, (I'm not afraid to eat in front of guys, they seem to like a healthy appetite anyway, and it helps them to see when girls aren't too shy to eat), I asked him why he was hardly touching his breakfast.
He said he wasn't too hungry and he's been nervous since last night.......how cute is that?!
I did the predictable, "Aawww" then told him to not be nervous around me, I'm really enjoying my breakfast and he should eat. He said he can't help it, he's been looking forward to spending the day with me and as I caught him taking that moment to gaze at me, he said something about he's really glad I was forward and gave him my number.
UH OH! A girl never wants to hear she's "forward." So I told him I was worried about it coming across as forward, but that he struck me as a really great and genuine guy and definitely 'Rare' for around here and I had to do something. I asked him if he was ever going to bust a move and he said no, so he was glad that I gave him my number. I replied, "No?, you weren't ever going to act on anything?" and he just shook his head, so I left it at that. I figure maybe he wouldn't want to get into how shy he is around girls. I decided just to enjoy my time with him and count my blessings that we have this opportunity.
After breakfast, I asked him if we were going for a ride and he said he wanted to take me down the coast now, to Yachats. Wow, I was surprised again! That is quite a ride, so that means he really wanted to make a day of it.
We stopped at a lookout point, a park and there were other touristy people around. We didn't do much site-seeing, we visited right there, hogging the best lookout spot, stood there visiting for so long, swapping great stories, talking about family and really exchanging some great moments of silent recognition of mutual adoration -
ok, it's time to puke! ha ha, ya, it was sappy, but he was a perfect gentleman, still didn't bust a move, didn't try to kiss me, and even gave me his jacket because he noticed me shivering, but I didn't ask, he just did it.....thoughtful!
Next we rode a bit more to a hotel - UH OH - get your mind out of the gutter, just to peruse the great bar with killer views. We had a window seat with our very own whale out in the ocean blowing it's spout just for us. He had a rum n coke and I had a pepsi. I have nothing against drinking, but I hardly drink anymore and I knew an early drink would make me sleepy.
Next we headed up the coast again and he took me to a nice restaurant for an early dinner. We both agreed the waitress was not on her game that day and in fact, may have been on something else! My chowder she served me was slopped all over the side and COLD. I never send stuff back, but it was inedible. Neither of us could eat much, he just couldn't eat and I just wasn't yet hungry after my big fat breakfast.....it was only 4:30 and I was still digesting corned beef hash.
We asked her for to-go containers and it was nasty, filled with some nasty crumbs and crap from the kitchen....some of it was little black stuff that looked like it could have been mouse trails. I was disgusted with her service, but I didn't let on in front of him how disappointed I was with her. I had been to that very nice restaurant only once before, with my daughter, and we had a fabulous time. I always wanted to go back, but it's a bit spendy. I was surprised at her very low standards on my special day with my new guy. Oh, well, we laughed about it and high tailed it out of there.
We rode back to my house and he turned off the bike, so I asked him if he'd like to come in for a while and he seemed happy to jump at that idea. We ended up spending the evening with movie time while my daughter and her friend kept playing dress up and coming out to dance in front of the t.v. just to be silly buggers. He laughed so much at their antics and we all had a really great time. Eventually, my kiddo went next door to her friends house for a bit, and I thought he may take that moment to sneak me a kiss. I caught him looking and maybe even pondering on that himself, as I watched the movie, but he opted to rub the back of my neck and touch my hair a bit.
Awwww, sappy-ness.
It was time for him to go, we walked out and he grabbed my hand as we walked out to his bike and we had a nice long hug. That was it. I think he wants to take it really really slow and we'll have our first kiss sometime soon enough.
He called me when he got home from work the next day and said he's swing by to see us after work tomorrow. I plan on making dinner and inviting him to stay - for dinner - cool your jets!
Today was bitter sweet for me. I have this fabulous new feeling taking over me, enjoying this new really awesome guy, but I also had to face a court appearance this morning - of which I revealed none of my trouble to him, of course.
It's old news, stupid minor misdemeanor that never should have happened, but I have/had fines to pay and I haven't paid it off.
Someone told me that I was supposed to pay in full by a certain date or I am looking at jail time. I have been sweating this. I don't burden with my daughter with this kind of stuff. I can't lean on her for emotional support for this kind of stuff and so I have been mulling it over in my head. I knew the court date was coming up....and especially on my great day with my new guy, it was on my mind a bit.
So, come morning, I was really nervous. I just kept having that "jail time" notion that someone told me, stuck in my head and heart. I figured, if they took me to book me and put me in a cell, I'd worry about it then. I really don't know how the system works, but it did seem a bit strange that they would go that far just for not paying fines in time....I have paid some, it's just not all paid off.
I showed up, I waited my turn while they had some inmates video'd in to the judge from jail, some inmates brought in person, some others come on their own waiting their turn like me, some obvious crack heads and dirty, discheveled stinkers and the judge just had this look about him that he was tired of hearing all these people talk about how they "can't pay" because their not working.....well WORK THEN!???
I dunno, it was one excuse after another....then comes my turn. It quickly got to the part where the judge asks how I plan to pay the balance. I tell him I got a new job and would like my wages garnished that way it is absolutely out of my control and it can just be taken care of and done. And in the meantime, I can make any side payments and I can to wrap this all up. The judge asked if my wages are garnished already and I said no, I don't know how this all works, but I thought it was best to do that, since I haven't been taking care of it on my own. The judge said it doesn't work that way, that as long as it isn't being pursued to go through the court and issue a court-ordered wage garnish, that I am to just pay it as soon as I can.
Then there was silence while the judge was writing. I grabbed that moment of silence to ask if I may say something. The judge stopped writing and looked at me, I said, "Your Honor, I wanted to express today that in no way did I intend to try and get out of all this. I know this is my responsibility that I have to face and I know it looks bad since I haven't been paying, but I have been struggling so terribly with depression.....(then I cracked and began to cry) I asked for the courts forgiveness for breaking down, I didn't want to break down, but......(all the while, the judge giving me his full attention and with a look of real concern and genuine sympathy that he had not shown any of the others.)
The judge interrupted me when I was apologizing for breaking down, he said, "I understand depression, I understand emotions, it's ok. Look, you're NOT in real trouble here. It's ok. Are you on medication?"
"No, I haven't had insurance for years."
"Are you on the Oregon Health Plan?"
"No, they said I don't qualify with my daughter's child support."
I finished my intended little speech, with a new strength from his generous compassion and my voice was not as rattled and I was able to continue, "With my new job, I'll qualify for benefits an a few months. Thank you for understanding depression, some people don't. My daughter and I have been alone for 13 years and the last couple years have been just so overwhelming. I think I've reached a point where I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired and I'm ready to pay this off and move on."
The judge, still looking at me and REALLY listening said, "Look Karen, this case is closed, this file is done, you do NOT have to come to this court anymore. You are in no real trouble, there is no set date to pay by, there is no more court appearances on this....just pay it off as soon as you can. Go get some help as soon as you can. You clearly could benefit with some medicine to help you get your emotions in better balance, and then you'll move on in life. You are all finished here today."
I thanked him and walked out. I counted my lucky stars and I will never forget the real compassion and care from that judge.
WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME I COULD GO TO JAIL OVER A MISDEMEANOR???
I don't know if maybe some people actually do get hauled off for not paying fines....but I am so happy and relieved it's all over. I just get to pay, yay :-)
Someday, not soon, but someday I will tell my new guy, when he's not so new anymore, that on our first date, the very next day I was facing a rather scary court appearing and I'll tell him how well it went.
Life is good again.
