Falcon Says

Just a quickie post placemarker. Still editing video footage of New Year's Eve on Las Vegas Strip. 


Can't wait to see how it all turns out. Off to take daughter shopping, as promised, then back to play mix n splice and more html nightmares. :-)

I let this blog go stale. Crazy past couple of years for me. So much is new and different. What is the saying, "The only thing that remains the same is change?" My mother likes to tell me that I am the most resilient person she knows. I take a beating and keep on ticking. I took it a step further than 'takes a licking'. I don't want to be licked anyway, but I sure feel like I have been beaten up, at times.

Those days should be long behind me now, long behind us. I have been trying to make a better life for my daughter, myself and our little critters. We have four cats now and one parrot. They all seem to be quite content and oblivious to the bills, the bumps in the road and life's occasional stresses that mommy has to work around. Scarlet is old enough that she sees and knows all too well what we are going through. But things are looking up, way up. Life is good, we are on the right track, full speed ahead. I just wish we could put the pedal to the metal, literally. That is our next hurdle; we need a car.

Tax refund arrived in the bank and I had already ear-marked the money for various bills, debts, necessities. Things always add up faster than expected and before you know it, there go some of the ear-marks. I suppose it's normal to have to go over the budget again and fine tune, juggle, crunch the numbers again. It is just so frustrating. Times like this are the moments that remind me I'm doing this household, heavy, life-changing moments alone, never married. It can be scary, but as the resiliency starts to kick in to nudge me forward, I have learned over the years just to plow ahead and not sweat every detail so much. Focus on the big picture, knock the little sh*t tasks out of the way and it will all work out eventually. Note, I did not say work itself out. I know I have to put major work into this thing called life, but as long as I don't over think the tasks in the battle and do think/focus on the destination, I will win this war. Pretty soon it will stop feeling like a war and start feeling like a dream vacation. Are we not supposed to enjoy life to the fullest? Yes, we are.

I have come a long way. Oregon was the worst. G-d bless the folks that choose to live there and make the most of their lives if they love it, but it was not for me! We lived near the central coast and during our 7 year stretch up there, you only get about 2 good months a year of pleasant weather. Sure, it's gorgeous up there year round, but sunshine and mild weather? Don't count on it.

California is our home state, born and raised. Never thought I'd live in Las Vegas, and here we are. After moving back down to California from Oregon for just about one year, was laid off of a pretty good job I landed in the Bay Area that was supposed to be a permanent hire. It was a pretty cush job at an Architect firm. Unfortunately, soon after I was hired, Corporate decided to downsize again, so since I was one of the most recent hires, I was the first to go. Wish they had thought of that before they hired me, but everything for a reason. Within that week, got a call from my Uncle that he needed to sell the house we were renting. Maybe California was just meant to be a stepping stone along our path to finding life again outside of Oregon.

What's the opposite of Oregon? The desert. We love it out here in Vegas! It is relatively much newer than San Jose, where we were in California, and we are in a much nicer, cleaner neighborhood now. For anyone that has not been to Vegas, or only visits "the strip" side of town or has only heard about Vegas and can only imagine; there are neighborhoods and townships that stretch out all around the famous strip that are worlds away from that lifestyle. We live in a quiet, beautiful, clean, manicured, lake shore community with parks, ducks, geese, swans and a lot more wild-life than I would have guessed lives out here in the desert. There are cute little wild bunnies all over! I haven't been able to get close enough to one to get a picture, they are fast.

Tonight was just about jotting a quickie post to update my blog. I definitely need to redesign it. I want to find a whole new layout, one not so childish, more professional blogger looking. I need to add some pictures, widgets, links. I have a lot of work to do.

We lost our beloved kitty cat, "Missy" last night. She was very old and she always amazed me she hung on as long as she did. This past year she was a walking skeleton, the poor dear. She was a tough ol broad, kept hangin' on and walking 'til the end. She asways struck me as the Matriarch of the house . . . she was the keeper of the gate, the mother hen. Whenever any of us were sick, she was right there to take care of us - even the dog. She'd snuggle up to him in his doghouse, and he for her. The dog was sure depressed for her these past couple days. They just know.

Anyway, my thread title is visits & signs.
The morning of her passing (Fri morning/she passed Fri night) - I awoke from a very vivid dream. A HUGE, magnificent, brilliant tiger came to my window. I was scared at first, but I peeked out the window and locked eyes with the tiger. It looked at me, but we exchanged no thought - you know how you do sometimes in dreams, talk with animals telepathically.
After our breif exchange of looks, the beautiful tiger gracefully moved along with a purpose. She was headed straight for some children that were riding on their big wheels in the middle of the street. At first I tried to scream through the window to warn the children that a tiger was after them, but the big beautiful tiger stopped, turned and looked at me again and a calm came over me. Then the tiger continued to the children. She stopped them in their tracks and they came to see her on the sidewalk. They were so amazed by her, she led them out of the street and as she sat there, with what seemed like a grin on her face, they pet her, these children pet this gorgeous tiger right outside my window.

I jolted awake not having a CLUE what this fantastic dream was about. Then I walked out to get some morning coffee and saw our missy, in the backyard, just outside my window, not doing so good. I knew it would be that day or during the night that she would go. She walked very slowly toward me and came in the house. I picked her up and she just lay limp in my arms.

I offered her some water and soft food, but she had no appetite. I know when they are close, they don't want to eat anyway. The rest of the day, I just kept checking on her. Since it was Friday, my daughter was at school. When my daughter got home, I told her Missy was on her way and so they spent some hours together snuggling. As my daughter cried and held her, Missy kept reaching her paw out, slowly, brushing my daughters face. It was so beautiful and magical, but seemed to morbid for video.

Missy kept trying to be strong for my daughter. Missy was always a caretaker and she absolutely adored children. I think that tiger was either Missy's spirit guide or perhaps Missy somehow before she even left her body that came to me in that dream.

We said our goodbyes and I assured Missy not to try and stay for us, that it was okay and her time to go. She left us soon after that.

Now for the sign part -
I had to work today, Saturday. Of course I thought about our dear Missy a lot today. I work at Safeway. A nice gentleman with a seeing eye dog came in. I went up to get my 'animal fix' and asked him if it was okay to pet her on duty. He said sure. I asked him her name, and he said, "Heaven."

What are the chances that precisely when I am mourning the loss of our beloved animal, an animal named Heaven walks in my door at work? ♥

We are blessed to have had all those wonderful years with our sweet old Missy cat. Can't wait to see her again!!

Well, let's just say 'almost' 40. Today is my first day back to school. I enrolled at the University of Phoenix, online college courses. I am very excited about this. I have some general ed and pre-requisite classes to get out of the way, of course, but I'm on a roll.

It feels very good to have some solid, tangible goals ahead of me in clear view and I know I can do this. I can do anything I set my mind to. My problem has always been narrowing my interests down and focusing on one thing at a time. So, I usually end up too scattered and before you know it, the years just keep ticking by and I haven't actually accomplished much, besides surviving day to day and raising a pretty terrific kid.

Since day one assignments for both my classes was simply to post our (all the students) bio, I'll just copy it here:
Greetings All! Happy Monday!

Hello, my name is Karen Falcon. I am a 39yr young single mom to one beautiful 13yr daughter, Scarlet. I was born and raised in northern California's San Francisco Bay Area, San Jose specifically. I lived and worked in the Silicon Valley as an Executive Secretary until I got a wild hair to completely change our lives and move up to rural Oregon in 2002. I had grown weary of the millions strong congestion and my life chained to a desk. The country life suited my daughter and I very well, at first. We farmed the land, raised sheep and made some new friends. I learned Oregon is a beautiful get-away, but we are now moving back to California this summer, after 7 years of trials and tribulation. I would love to write a book one day of all that we have been through on this crooked path up here in Oregon. Phew, what a life experience!

With me about to turn 40 in two months and my daughter a thriving teenager, I felt compelled to get on the ball back to school! I have never married and my daughter will be off to college in no time, so I want to get a degree and start a career. The best reward so far, my daughter is very proud of her mom going back to school. I am happy I am finally setting a constructive and productive example for her instead of just surviving day to day. Life has been such a struggle these past 14 years on our own. I had felt so broken and defeated at times that the idea of going back to school usually did not even enter my mind with just trudging through the days. When I would give it a passing thought at rare times, that was it, just a quick thought of, "Yeah right, how could I ever go to college?"

Blame it on mid-life crisis or the ol-spinster complex of being scared I'll end up spending the rest of my life alone after Scarlet goes off to college, I began to really look seriously at my chances and opportunities for going to school. I was and still am so pleasantly surprised at the grant opportunities and real staff support to help everyone go for their dreams! My mind is set on Accounting and Financial Services for the immediate future. I figure, the way the world economy is, companies will always need someone to work the numbers, so I wanted to start with a practical foundation for the first part of my education. I hope to find a position in a company in northern California's Bay Area in an accounting department and work my way up as I continue my education. After several years, once I reach my Financial Academic goals, my long-term continued education goals are set real high. I'd actually love to be a Doctor someday! Dentistry is tickling the back of my mind. Since I have been without insurance for several years now, my teeth are in terrible shape. My very-long-term goal would be to become a Dentist, travel northern California with a mobile Dentist office and help the many less-fortunate folks that have been trying to survive without insurance too, especially the children!

I firmly believe in giving back to the community. For now, I am happy to start with crunching numbers and making new friends along the way. When we move back home to California this summer, we will find organizations where we can volunteer. That ought to keep us out of trouble! For our own personal down-time, my daughter and I have several critters: our dog Petey is a Pekingese, our parrot Romeo is an Eclectus parrot and a big talker and four cats, Missy our old lady, Pony that we found down at a barn, her son PJ (Pony Jr.) who is a big fat moose and Annie that we adopted when I found my neighbor lifeless on Halloween! That will be another one for the book! I find it difficult to sum-up a bio. Single mom, never married, finally going back to school. I love reading, blogging, facebook, twitter, photography, music, my daughter, our pets and making new friends!
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I admit, my bio is a bit 'wordy', but I have two excuses: 1) I followed the instructor and others' format and 2) I have never been able to pare down a bio. So, voila.

For a Monday, today has been a pretty great day. I have met a lot of people online in my classes, (taking two simultaneous classes to start.) Although only a couple have responded on the thread to meet me in return, I enjoyed reading their bios, getting to know my fellow classmates and responding to them with introducing myself to them. I secretly wish more would take time to interact, but we all have separate lives and maybe they are even taking more classes than me. Soon enough, I'll be back out in the work-force and making more friends than I can even STAND! Shoo fly :-)